Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Sweet christmas


Day was 24th December 1986, What mom! that is so cheap.Stop doing that.
Ohh, sorry son, I thought, you might like it.

Same day , year 2016,  Its a beautiful christmas eve, and we are planning to spend it with family and today is the last day of year in office. Wow! they have called santa claus, i mean a person enacting as a santa claus. He is distributing sweets to everyone.
Everyone is rushing towards him and he is going to everyone`s place and greeting them, and is being greeted by everyone. Being a Santa he has to give away sweets as that is what we relate santa with, since our childhood. He is having a few chocolates and assorted sweets or toffees as i may call it.
And i being lucky one, got a small chocolate. It is such a jovial and happy atmosphere created by the Santa. Everyone is saying thanks to the santa and leaving the office by cheering and wishing each other. Many of us are keeping there chocolates and toffees safe in there pockets. May be like me everyone wants to share this sweet tiny gift with there kids.I took the chocolate and kept it safely in my bag as well.

As soon as I returned home to my son who was playing with his Playstation as usual.
He greeted me and i gave him the same chocolate which i saved from office.
He says "What Dad! that is so cheap.Stop doing that. You dont have to save such petty things. Dont be frugal". And that brought a smile to my face. Guess why?

Actually it took me 30 years to understand what my mom used to do. She never saved just that christmas chocolate for me, instead, she saved or wanted to save the joy of having it with me. I am not angry with my son, because that is developmental understanding which is bound to come on its own.

After meeting my son and learning a good lesson, i took that chocolate and gave it to my mother sitting inside the room and waiting for me.I gave it to her and told her "Mom, Merry christmas".

Monday, 16 December 2013



IPC 377......bloody gays. They must be shunted out of the society. They are a blot.
 Ohh! Who is that idiot shouting. That is a father who is not able to digest the  fact that his son is a gay.
I am still wondering why is he so annoyed, so baffled, that he is shouting. A moron, but his son is still not thinking that way. He still wants to convince his father that it is not his fault that he has this orientation. He is like this since his birth. He is another idiot too. I am giving a verdict on this, that makes me an idiot too three four........
But still i will place my opinion, oops, not opinion but verdict. Freedom of speech, LOLZ.

To the father:- Dear unfortunate father, its sad that your son is not living
his life your bloody way. That makes him such a sinner, compartmentalized, selfish individual.Your son, who lived his life scared and in a kind of hideout, created his own bubble world around him.He was scared that his family may not come to know about his orientation. He couldnt do what he liked, he couldnt commit what he liked. He just kept studying the way you wanted. Kept on going to temples the way you wanted, refrained from all the habits you didnt liked. But this bloody orientation was never in his control. He was like this the day he was born.Than he lied one day while going out to his college. He lied because he was scared of losing you, a magnificent parent, that is what this gay son thinks. He tried to take his life, but couldnt, again because of you. He loved you, loves you. He always cursed god for making him like this, but than he developed this habit of lying, just to make you happy. And today when he stood up against all odds to let you know that he wont marry a woman of your choice and told you about his sexual orientation, you thrashed him. Just imagine what is he thinking at present. He must be thinking, " i wish i could convince my parents, my family.....i wish", he must be cursing the god again convincing himself to be guilty of not having the choice of partner his parents wanted.
Now what kind of son could he be? I can call you an idiot in front of him, but he might kill me for that.
What kind of son could he be? i know the answer of that question, that would make him a good son, respecting his father, no matter what, he cherishes the fact, that you are his father. Please understand one fact that the problem is with you and not him. You need to understand the fact that your son is absolutely normal and has an able mind to understand and analyze anything like us.

To the Son:- I think you are an abnormal person.Abnormal, not because you are homosexual, instead it is because you are convinced that you are wrong even when you know that you arent. You are a human being who likes to have sexual relation with another human being of same sex. That is your case. Nothing more dramatic or sentimental to it. You are absolutely a normal man. Stop cursing yourself and being an idiot. If your parents dont understand that, that means, it is there mental block or fault and not yours. You respect them, that doesnt means you can control what god has destined for you. I am a heterosexual, that doesnt makes you inferior or superior to me. It is a just a social rule/perception. Your parents will understand, love is the best convincing feeling. But it has to be unconditional.

To myself the biggest idiot:- Stop giving verdicts.

To the God:- Why didnt you make everything same and identical. That would have been boring, But still, give it a thought Sir.

God`s reply:- Hi buddy, got your email. Wow! Earth is so beautiful, Live your life to the fullest, have fun guys..
And ya, see you SOON.

Tuesday, 3 December 2013



wondering, wondering, i am just wondering, how can i write what i want to convey or may be what i feel.
Who the hell am i to convey anything to anyone. i just want to share what i feel.
And the most interesting thing is that i try to define what i feel. Isnt this similar to someone trying to explain GOD.

You explain him and you diminish(what should be the right word) his very own existence. Something which can be explained or is define-able has to be measurable, than how can it be God. All the religions/communities with common beliefs try to explain or even the spokespersons of these religions actually explain God. Now that is contradictory.

It is good to talk about him, to feel him, to be him. But the spokespersons giving a verdict are weird. Actually i find them weird. May be they are not, but i dont become synchronous with them, As they try to take away my freedom by defining God at first stage and then defining the rules for me to make him manifest out of me.  
Now how does that makes sense, is totally no sense for me.

I never asked for a chemical reaction formula which can be delivered by adding somethings in specific quantities.
I want to feel him, i want to live him but in my own way. No ones fingerprints matches the other persons fingerprint. I think we all have a similar BUT UNIQUE tuning frequency, which helps us meet him. So, every one has his own way, or may be has to find his own way to be effortless. Because as i always feel, being effortless is the only way to manifest his self.
So, every one has to be effortless in his own specific and unique way to meet him, to merge with him.

I may sound confused, it is just because i am still looking for my fingerprint or the way in which i can meet him.

Sunday, 7 April 2013

New UnClear Nuclear

New UnClear Nuclear

From joint families to nuclear families, changing cultures with changing colors.
The futuristic cliche is now being widely used. We say "Its my life, i can do whatever i want, i am not hurting anyone".

There is a very thin line which is becoming even thinner, between being selfish and nuclear.
There were times when families used to be joint. And then the transition from joint to nuclear family.
And now another pseudo development coming up, from nuclear family we are moving to nuclear self.

We have raised our egos so high, that we are unable to live in a social web. From Man being  a social animal, transition is happening to again being an animal.

I heard that the word father was invented for a certain reason. And that reason was to civilize and socialize the society. Being Nuclear and beating the social norms to find happiness is just a MYTH, a bubble. There is nothing as eternal happiness anywhere. But to bear the psychosis the social system developed years ago is to be modified and not to be discarded.

Nuclear is the new word for unclear.

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Competing Wo-Men?????

                                                  Competing Wo-men

Women- An interesting topic for every man.You can smell the male prejudice and chauvinism here. Ain`t it?
 If you don`t, there is something, "certainly" wrong with you?

Men- All men are dogs. Male bashing, wow, interesting. Ain`t it? PJS (Preoccupied judgemental syndrome).

A race which had been going on since centuries, and recently has turned excitingly exciting. Men sometimes,(ohh, let me correct- most of the times) refer to those cliches' and possess that stereotypical image of a woman. On the other side, what other side?. women take us the same way, the same age old stereotypical-ism prevailing about us, THE men.

Sometimes i wonder, from where did we got this amazing organizational ideology of women liberation. This must be an invention by a MAN for sure.
I think the man who started this must have had convinced the women that they are not liberated. So, a wonderful race began where women wanted themselves to be equated in the virtual world created by the man himself.

But i wonder, why this race? what is the meaning of this? This is a race where no one can secure the first rank ever.
It has to be understood. We can reach the finish line only when, we both, men and women are together, complementing each other in a complementing way. The future is together and not being ahead of each other.

Tuesday, 12 February 2013



Why are we all seducing our ownself, for the sake of happiness. Happiness is real, only when shared. Isnt that true?
Cities have grown bigger and hearts have become smaller for adjustments and compromises, the essential keys, to the civilization.
In the race of finding things/treasures which make us materially valuable, we are losing the very own reason of existing together.

Actually, we like things to be complex. May be, to satisfy our own ego and let our ownself know that we are going to solve the complexities one day. We love only and only our urges and are seduced by them in an unsolvable-ly complexed way.
The very own reason of seducing oneself and luring oneself from one platform to another is just like working in a tessaractial illusion.
Just dont know where it starts or for a reason ends.

We developed a society on the basis of parents, family, community and togetherness.But in the garb of our own urges we just became there slaves and submissive to them. This alienation may be killing the very own substance we carry inside us and transforms us into a Robot who works for urges which will be controlled not by us in the END..............................................?

Monday, 21 January 2013



O My God! Its Friday, 05:20 PM and i am in office.  No No don't get me wrong, its not about Friday night party.
Instead, its something more substantial and concerned with comfort.
Actually, i need to catch a metro by 1715 else i will be in deep trouble.Almost all the offices call it a day at 1730. And if i by mistake co-incide with the same time. I wont even get the place to stand in a metro TRAIN. Yes i am serious and talking about a TRAIN. But believe me, i am in a city where it does makes sense. I am in Delhi or New Delhi, as they may call it. But to my horror i am already late.

Finally i manage to cover 2 km to reach metro station in around 27 minutes because of the craziest traffic in the world. I may take the liberty to say that it is not a straight road of 2kms, rather, it is a straight Round about of 2 kms.where anyone can come from any side. Traffic rules!!!...they are just a myth here.

At 1757, i press my feet on metro station and regular commuters would call it a suicidal time.

Anyways, i am entering the metro station and escalator is quite occupied but still i manage to occupy a little space in the side of a fat Punjabi lady with two shopping bags of her, after annoying her and making her to shift her bags a little.
Now i am on the first floor and there is a long queue for the security checkpoint. Why do we have a single Scanning machine for such a huge crowd where our bags are getting toppled and laptops are suffering the worst treatment, even the best quality tests can fail here.And yea I Hate terrorists. It is because of them we have to wait in a queue for another 17 mins.Its 1820hrs and finally i am through the security checkpoint and the formality of frisking through is done.

Now finally i reach the platform after climbing a few more stairs. There are many passengers standing on the platform to catch this modern train.
Lets see if i can get through this crowd.There used to be a security guard here whose job is to manage the queues for entering the train. But he seems to be absent at this critical time and i can smell a chaos as the train arrives on the station.And to my accurate calculations, train has arrived and people are planning to go amuck already. 

Now before the door opens, there are people who want to enter, there is another lobby of people inside the train who want to come out. Now the situation demands a little strategy here. And the strategy says PUSH each other, which ever lobby is stronger makes it through to the other side.And by gods grace i was just standing in between the crowd and by the sheer force i was pushed inside the train without even trying to do so.

After entering the train. i know i have stepped  my right foot on someone else`s foot. But that is OK because my left foot has already been bearing the weight of a heavy weight wrestler kind of a person standing by my side. And now my arrival point or station will come on the right side and i am on left side. So, i have to change the side.

For that i will have to claim back my feet and remove them from under that heavy weight and try to turn towards the right side. And while doing this i bravely take a 35degrees turn, this small turn makes the person standing on my right to turn left and finally as i make him mobile a little bit, i catch the moment and take a complete right turn making the person on my right to turn just by my force. Its as if a gear is making another gear to turn. Now thats a human gear assembly.Now i have turned right and facing the gate to exit.

After 13 mins of human gear assembly travel, i reach my destination by around 1840hrs, now i understood the meaning of the word destination. Finally with the strategic Push i am thrown out of the metro. I am feeling like the happiest man on earth and i truly am.Coming victoriously out of the metro station i can hear in my mind the invincible backgroud music going on.

So, a lesson for you all is that you dont need to have your travelling gear in delhi, you just need to behave like a gear.

I MADE IT FINALLY! Happy Weekend.

Thursday, 10 January 2013

GOD and effort

                                         EFFORTLESS GOD.

I have tried a lot to meet THE God. And i have failed like many others do.
But i think, the only reason i could not meet him is that I WANTED to meet him.
And this desire of WANTING to meet him was taking a shape of the EFFORT.
And i think an effort can never help you meet him.
Efforts can only help to attain certain goals and goals are never bigger than your own efforts.The more you give your self into the efforts the more bigger the goal becomes.

Suddenly, i realized that to attain him, to feel him, I need to eliminate my efforts and become effortless. Away from all the thoughts and away from the sanity and insanity. I should be submissive to his will. I am his own part, and i can not have a will to love him or not.
Only his love will PULL me into itself and will help me be him.That will be the final and the only meeting.

Tuesday, 8 January 2013



Just imagine an era when a kid asked his dad "Dad when is your wedding anniversary?" Dad must be replying. "Anniversary! Now what is that?".
That must be an era when there was nothing known as time or may be counting the time, days or nights. How it must have had started first counting the days than calling them a week, month, year and so on. Than it must have been difficult for the inventors to invent the hours, minutes, seconds than further to microseconds, picoseconds and femto-seconds. OMG. When will this be stopped.

Actually we invented something what we call competition. If not with anyone else than must be with our ownself. Racing, and racing hard.

We want to make it before the time. BEFORE THE TIME. Do we really know the amount of hours or seconds we have in our life. I dont think anyone knows that. So, technically speaking the parameter or the reference we had drawn is itself fake, Ain`t it?. The biggest source of dissatisfaction. Every person is trying to control and buy others time, measured, controlled and paid.
Our civilization is not as good as Indus valley 5000years ago. Stop saying that now. Lets start believing in the present.The present is a gift as they say. Stop measuring it with the fake references invented by us humans.

We need something much more (may i have the liberty to say) GODLY. Live your life to the fullest like the moment you have is the only one and it will never ever come again, so nurture it. Stop worrying about the future and start living the moment we are in. I can only say lets STOP RACING with our own-selves.