Thursday, 28 May 2015
Sunday, 24 May 2015
CANADA sends a COMPLAINING letter to INDIA
|Streets getting renamed.|
Your fellow countrymen, i mean PUNJABIs are coming to our land in huge chunks, it looks like a LANDSLIDE kind of scenario from a mountain known as Punjab to Canada. A few problems which i would like to highlight here are as follows:-
- Punjabis have renamed canada as KANEDA.
- Canadian Flights have to increase the alcohol quota by 10 times, if a Punjabi is found on-board.
- After drinking Punjabi passengers demand (not even request) to fly the plane.
- Air hostesses are referred to as Totta, patola, purja, Mem ji etc.
- They attach Singh with everyone`s name, like Simon Sing ji, Michael sing ji, even when these fellow passengers dont know how to sing.
- Punjabi passengers speak an un-imaginable english after drinks.
- They make noises like buuuurrrrraaaah burrrraaaah amidst the flight, which scares the pilots at times.
- Punjabis demand for something known as Gurh & Gandda......is that a drink as well?
- When they dis-embark from the plane, they demand the air hostess to come along.
We would request your intervention into the matter and help getting it looked into.
Please help us Brother!
KANEDA (used to be CANADA in past)
Friday, 22 May 2015
CHHAJJU Halwai as Delhi CM
|Chhajju halwai look alike|
And meanwhile, till the time this rift goes on, he can enjoy and feel the position of CM, which anyways has no powers. He claimed that his shop and its appliances are also having no power in the day, so this position of CM will provide him a very professional and homely atmosphere.
He told our senior rasiya reporter, Mr. Rass ka Gulla, that he will be writing a letter to our PMs. 1 PM is Mr.Pranab Mukherjee and other one is Prime Minister. Fortunately enough, Mr.Modi PM is in India to attend the marriage of Mr.Digvijaya`s Son. So on this auspicious occasion, may be his letter will present with a good omen for our PMs and they can hope to end this tussle by accepting the letter.
* Honest Samosa:- you still wondering about honest samosa, it is speciality of chhaju halwayi, he claims and has papers to prove his claims that each samosa carries 78.3% of aalu with error margin of +- 0.1%.
Tuesday, 19 May 2015
PUNJAB TO BE DECLARED AS WET STATE
Punjab, famous for its intestinal and liver capabilities to digest and absorb the alcohol (fermented grains), in view of recent developments, might be declared as a WET State.
Wet State means that only Punjab will have the facility of availing subsidy on all types of Hard Drinks including Beer, Whisky, Wine, Cognac etc. Punjabis are ecstatic and are happy with the outcomes, as there per capita income was dropping and growth rate was poor, So this has come as a merry go round moment for them.
Reacting to this opposition has demanded a CBI (Chaal Baaz of India) level probe and sent a complaint to the Election Commision stating that ruling party, SAD (Shiromani Akli Daldal ) in conjunction and partnership with BJP at centre has deliberately taken away this from Congress`s Manifesto. This Manifesto has been meticulously designed by Mr.Bevrha Singh Piyakarh after putting in a great research.
Reacting to these allegations, SAD spokerperson, Mr.Raaj Singh Daaru, stated that Punjab is being served with loads of Daaru and Dope on daily basis, even at times when congress had not even thought about there manifesto. Adding to this it was said that SAD will strictly take an action if Congress tries to do any intellectual theft (OMG intellectual theft and that also from SAD, anyways). Also, Mr.Raaj said that punjab is the first state in country where we have provided something which we are about to mention in the upcoming manifesto.
Also, a new slogan was coined by the spokesperson, BAHUT HO GAYA AATA DAAL, HUN AAPAAn KHAAVAANGE FREE MAAL (afeem).
Friday, 15 May 2015
BLACK OR WHITE, MONEY IS RIGHT!
All the people who absorb all the colors of spectrum, i mean who are not white.....how to say black by not being racist??? Ok! let me start again.
|Mr.Mogambo Mango from UNBO|
Listening to this, India has applied to UNBO, saying that what ever is not white must be a representative of black, External affairs minister also refferred to famous song of Brown Rang by Padam Shree Honey singh Ji. As Indians are brown skinned, as termed by twitterati and facebookers, and being brown is close to black. Also, we are the largest consumers of fairness creams. And looking at the share of India`s wealth in Black money. Either the money must be termed as Brown money or Indians must be included in Black spectrum and thus UNBO. (Courtesy:- Baba Ramdev`s bhakt believes that India has the biggest share of black money in the world).
|Zebra s are confused|
Wednesday, 13 May 2015
SALMAN TO COACH Indian Cricket team for HIT & RUN
|SALMAN KHAN READY TO HIT & RUN|
Wednesday, 6 May 2015
KEJRIWAL ka dharna against CHRIS GAYLE
Kejriwal will be leading the dharna and Anna hazare might be approached for his patented Aamaran ant-shant. AAP`s convener has confirmed that they have some documents which clearly reveal that chris gayle has some alien kind of material derived from Koi mil geya`s jadoo`s skin. And this skin when charged with solar energy lets him hit Sixes in that fashion.
|Jadoo se jhadoo tak|
Amongst all this, Jadoo was found confused and has left for his Jadoo-land for ever.