Friday, 31 July 2015

Tiger Memon`s MERCY plea ACCEPTED


TIGER MEMON`s MERCY PLEA ACCEPTED



Nayi Rajneetik Dilli:- It came as a shocker for the entire nation, when tiger memon`s (brother of Yakub Memon) anticipatory Mercy plea was accepted by the President. It is said that tiger memon has presented his mercy plea on the pretext that he will also be hanged, so he presented a mercy plea on the mere anticipation. And to everyone`s surprise plea was ACCEPTED.
Citing this, a nationwide debate broke out. All the media houses are planning a debate with political parties spokerpersons in the studios. Keeping in view a mass un-rest, Delhi govt. said, that as the police is not in there control, it wont be possible to manage the crowd coming out on the streets of delhi. Even a few protestors were spotted outside parliament. But as the parliament session is not in progress due to internal political disruptions, No MP was found inside.
A large group of ppl were spotted at Jantar Mantar, raising a slogan, 'The Nation wants to know" and listening to this, the silence of president house finally broke out.
A few hours later national husband (rashtrapati) issued a statement to the press stating that, mercy plea was accepted on the pretext of SAVE TIGER Abhyaan of Govt., As President house is committed towards this campaign so, they decided to accept the plea and save the tiger. Also, Salman khan is feeling releaved that tiger`s name is not Black Buck.




DISCLAIMER:- This is a fake news. But i really wish, tiger gets caught and no mercy shall be awarded.

Sunday, 26 July 2015

Punjab Attacked by Terrorists


पंजाब फिर से घिरा उग्रवाद में 


मोदी जी, पंजाब के दीनानगर में आतंकी हमला।   शेर की दहाड़  आएगी या फिर बस जुमलों की बरसात ।

पंजाब  को वैसे तो किसी की दहाड़ ज़रुरत नहीं है।  इतिहास गवाह है कि पंजाबी शुरू से इस सब से झूझते आये हैं।  और  इस समस्या को भी सुलझाने का हौंसला भी रखते हैं।


आज हमें अगर किसी समस्या से झूझने  में दिक्कत आ रही है तो वो है अपने  सरकारी आतंकवादियों  से।
हम बम वाले आतंकवादियों से लड़ लेंगे, पर नशे में सने हुए इन  सरकारी आतंकवादियों की टोली से झूझना नामुमकिन सा लग रहा है।  अगर आप इतने ही शेर  हैं तो पहले नशा बेचने वाली सरकार को दहाड़ के दिखाइए न की उन्हें सम्मानित कीजिये।


आज पंजाब हर तरफ से घिरता जा रहा है, बेरोज़गारी, नशाखोरी, तालिबानी वाद, और ऐसे ही बहुत से वाद आने वाले हैं।  ये जो उग्रवाद के काले बादल छा रहे हैं, इन्हे हटाने के लिए कोशिश  तो कीजिये साहब, चाहे कोशिश नाकाम ही जाए, पर कम से कम कोशिश तो कीजिये। और हाँ जी एक गल  होर, इस वार 2017 के elections में हम जवाब ज़रूर देंगे।

सभी पंजाबियों से एक request है , अगर सरदार सिर्फ सरदार को वोट करेगा तो सब से अधिक नुक्सान सरदारों का ही होगा, और यही बात हिन्दू वोटर  पर भी लागू होती है।
वोट कबीले को नहीं काबिलियत को करें।





Saturday, 25 July 2015

TOP 5 INDIAN SPOILERS



TOP 5 INDIAN SPOILERS


1. OFFICE SPOILERS:- 

This species of Ppl are those who come at 8 AM and leave office at 9 PM. They top the list. The worst part is that they get a better rating always






2. TRAFFIC SPOILERS:- 

Traffic spoilers, especially the ones who drive right on the dividing lane.





3. NEWS SPOILERS:- 

Shouting News Anchors for silent Listeners.




4. FAKE DHARAM GURUS


5.CORRUPT POLITICIANS

These ppl are an integral part of India, which certainly needs to be removed.








Disclaimer:- This post is not intended with any respect. Pls feel free to feel disrespected, if it relates to you. And pls stop driving on the dividing Lane.



Friday, 17 July 2015

Bajrangi Bhaijaan BANNED in Pakistan

Bajrangi Bhaijaan BANNED in Pakistan


Islamabad/Somwhere in Pakistan: Sallu Bhai`s movie opened with record breaking collections which kept Sallu Bhai on high nerves. And it was speculated and is being expected that Bajrangi Bhai will break the records in Pakistan. But, due to one dialogue of movie, the movie might get banned in pakistan. The scene has been shot on Om Puri. In this scene, Mr.Om Puri says to salman that "EK CHHOTA SA KASHMIR HAMAARE PAAS BHI HAI". And this dialogue was noted by Nawaaz Sharif, as nawaaz ji was free and had no work after open firing on India, so he went to see First Day First Show of Bajrangi Bhai alongwith India`s favorite pakistani minister Hina Rabbani Khar. And Hina ji pointed him out on this kashmir dialogue. And she pursued him to pursue India to pursue for Kashmir Issue. And to our amusement Nawaaz bhai readily understood what she said. Furthermore, it was said, till the time this chhota kashmir dialogue is converted to poora kashmir, the movie will not be allowed to release in Pakistan.
Sallu Bhai is trying to plan kite flying with Indian PM and request him to bring Bajrangi Bhaijaan in next Indo Pak meeting agenda.
Amir Khan and SRK tweeted that they support Sallu and are trying to be human.

Disclaimer:- This is a fake News, dont take it to heart. No one can dare to Ban Sallu Bhai movie. 

Thursday, 16 July 2015

WMD - Women for Men`s Destruction




WMC (Willows of Men`s Construction) to WMD (Women for Men`s Destruction)


Dsiclaimer:- If you are a feminist, pls dont read this blog, you will get offended. Also, if you are a sexist, dont read it either, you will not find anything for your amusement.
And most importantly, i am not an Asaram Bapu supporter.


Women are too much into development and into competition these days. Presumably and assuringly visible women who used to be WMC(Willows of Men`s Construction) are getting converted into WMD (Weapons for Men`s Destruction).Women, who use to be stereotyped earlier and being stereotyped at present as well and being used as a Weapon to destroy the Man who is against the powerful.
Women power is being used to use the rape, dowry (498a), etc. a potent weapon to destroy the ENEMIES.See around yourself and you will see many high profile, potentially dangerous men for govt. , are getting dumped into rape cases.

And one prime example is Asaram bapu, even though i am not a supporter but the women was raped 7 years ago by Asaram and Asaram is jailed after 7 years. Now can this offence be proved, cant the woman be a liar,etc. So many logical questions, no one dares to ask just because we are afraid of being called a sexist.

Another Case of Amitabh Thakur, IAS officer comes to light. After he opens the front against the Supremo Mulayam(Soft) Singh, he is turned into a rapist.





Such a case of Gopal Shetye who faced 7 (SEVEN) years in Jail was found innocent and released after 7 bloody long years.
Link given below:-

http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/gopal-shetye-acquitted-he-wants-back-7-yrs-lost-in-jail/1/450628.html

And so many others, the list will be in-exhaustible.

And to my amusement, the women falsely convicting others of rape are NOT penalized for false allegations. Yes, you heard it right, false allegations by women are NOT penalized by court and fake rape victims are acquitted without a trial. The so called Mahila Mukti Morcha`s must confront the women who use there gender as a tool and law makers must put such women to trial.

And we must convince women and men, both,  that there is no competition between man and woman, We exist in each other`s existence, so, competing each other is totally a fallacy. We may complement each other but cant compete with each other.

 Last but not the least, Rape can happen to both Man or woman, and gender specific punishments are un-justifiable. Probability of wrong is on both sides. Lets think beyond the cocoons.
A report by Hindu on Delhi Stats is shared below:-

http://www.thehindu.com/data/the-many-shades-of-rape-cases-in-delhi/article6261042.ece

Saturday, 11 July 2015

DELHI govt. provides SUBSIDY on BOATS


New Delhi: On one hand where PM is asking to give up subsidy on LPG, at the same time, opposition welcomes the decision of Delhi Govt. to provide the general public with the Subsidized Boats. This will be done in collaboration with Gurgaon and Noida govt. authorities.

In a press conference, where our correspondent "Prakritik Aapda" was also present,  it was iterated, that the Rains are a conspiracy by LG and central Govt. But the Delhi Govt. is not scared of anyone and will fight for justice, even if the govt. in collaboration with Inder Dev, may fill the roads with loads of water. On the contrary Hon. CM Mr.Kejrihaal said that his govt. promised 20000lts of water to everyone and he has already provided 70% of the water in first year itself and remaining 30% will be provided in next 4 years. And for this he patted the govt. officials for not letting the water go into the drains.  Apart from all this, he also announced that Govt. will be providing the SUBSIDY on boats, for our daily commuters.

For the ppl who want to go to gurgaon, govt. are also having scuba diving suits, planned for office goers. 
This was a well drafted and CRAFTED move by the govt.  

RTO is already alerted that boats should be allowed to ply between Gurgaon and Delhi, without even the need of special driving license. But a Toll has been installed at Gurgaon for collecting the Water stagnation management toll tax.

Also, it was said, that hopefully, govt. will come forward with similar schemes in case of any other natural calamities like earthquake, chemical war with central govt., etc etc.




Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Man charged with Molestation, turns out to be a Mannequin

Molesting Mannequin


New Delhi:- Shopping Mall, Maal ki Gaadi, witnessed a strange case today after a woman shouted and charged a man with molestation charges.The woman complained that the Man was staring him since she entered the showroom and, as she was trained that every man was a pervert (THHARKI) and despo. She knew readily what this man/mannequin was capable of.

After the complaint, a ruckus was created inside the showroom. Before the sales Manager could come forward and explain,the lady pressed the Panic button on new app, "sahayta behan" and lodged a complaint with police. Hearing to all this media persons dashed on to the spot with the speed of light. As soon as the police approached and tried to investigate the matter by approaching the Convict.

It was found that the convict was a Mannequin (a statue), when woman was asked about it, she told press and police, that the mannequin is actually a Man trying to act like a Mannequin. It is not a mannequin but a real man. Listening to this police and media, all got confused and tried to rubbish of the case. But only after the dynamic intervention of  NCW(national commission agent of women), the police to lodge an FIR against the Man and confirmed to find a man to replace the mannequin.

Police has confirmed media of stern action and investigation.

Tuesday, 7 July 2015


व्यापम या प्याज़म 

एक अजीब सी समानता आती हुई दिख रही है व्यापम और प्याज के अंदर, जिस तरह प्याज के अंदर बहुत सी तहें  होती हैं, कुछ उसी प्रकार व्यापम का घोटाला होता जा रहा है।

इन तहों  को निकालना चाहते कुछ लोग शायद इनमे उलझ से जा रहे हैं।  चालीस 40 + मौतों से बना हुआ ये प्याज अभी भी पता नहीं कितनी तहें अंदर तक जायेगा। चाहे वो नम्रता डामोर की हत्या हो, या अक्षय सिंह पत्रकार की या फिर गवर्नर साहेब के पुत्र शैलेश यादव, इनकी सबकी मौत बस इसी घोटाले की तहों  की तरह उतरती जा रही हैं और मुझे अपने राज नेताओं पर भरोसा है के अंत में इस व्यापम के भीतर भी प्याज की तरह सिवाए आंसू के और कुछ नहीं मिलेगा।  एक बहुत बढ़ा प्रशन चिन्ह लगता है ये घोटाला 284 के आंकड़े और हमारे "देश नहीं झुकने दूंगा, देश नहीं मिटने दूंगा " के खोखले अभ्यान पर.

एक दरखास्त सबसे करना चाहता हूँ , अगली बार किसी नारे या शकल पर वोट मत डालना।

P.S :- इस article को satire ki शक्ल देने की हिम्मत नहीं जुटा पाया मैं।  40 + मौतें  और प्रजातंत्र  का घान हँसी में ब्यान करना मुश्किल था।